Thomas Winterton post 10

My greatest fear in life is not being good enough, that the task at hand overcomes me rather than me overcoming it. I've been raised to never shy from a difficult task, academic or otherwise, so naturally accepting a challenge is in my nature, and as such I enjoy bathing in success after completing that trial, my greatest character weakness arises from this joy of victory that I commonly find myself in. that in the rare occasion I'm  not able to dominate the event that restrains me from my goal. This loss will make me physically tremble, my eyes start to get sore, my heart begins to pound, my hands become numb, and that is only the beginning though. A viscous pressure begins to writhe in my chest as if my emotions were manifesting themselves in my thorax, my anger builds as my own thoughts turn inwards, whispering doubt and resentment for my own failure, clawing at the inside of my skull, reminding me of a much crueler, younger time in my life. I cannot live with myself if I fail. Perhaps this is my subconscious' way of telling me I can do better, perhaps I've cracked somewhere along the way, perhaps this is an awful inspiration to better myself and to never experience the harrowing feelings that are paired with failure. Perhaps I'll never know.