Monday, December 7, 2015

Blog Post 12: Brave Little iPhone (Gloria Pulley)


            5:00 am: time for Chopin’s Waltz #6 in D flat.  I am fumbled around by my half asleep owner and placed back on the side of the bed.  Not up yet I guess.  I’ll just wait eight more minutes to wake her, she was up pretty late the night before listening to me.  Oh wait no it looks like she’s getting up this time. OUCH! Watch where you stick those headphones! I know you’re still trying to wake up but- oh my why is she shaking me.  Please stop swinging me back and forth, ow, ow, ow, ow. Why are you running? If you don’t stop this right now I’ll turn off.  I mean it missy. Thank the lord, a break. And break over.
            Finally, my gps says we’re back home.  Maps says seven miles, not bad for a Saturday.  AHHHHHH! Can you please not drop me so much, my outfit is already cracked from all of this abuse.  Also why is your music so loud?  Can you plug me back in? I’m sooo tired this morning. Oh wow that’s cold just leave me here on the counter again.  I feel so unloved sometimes.  You know I could just accidentally dial your “friend” or autocorrect something really inappropriate.  Don’t try me! That’s it girly, I’m facetiming someone random and there is nothing you can do to stop me!  That’s right, how do you like that front facing camera?! Wait wait! What are you doing noooooooo stop that!
            Oh! So bright, why’d you go and turn me off like that? I was messing around a bit.  Oh man looks like it’s time to feed the virtual cats.  Hello there Tubbs and Sammy and Shadow, aren’t y’all just the cutest today.  Oh how sweet, you guys left me some fishies.  OMG! I can’t believe she wore that dress to the party, I’ll just like it anyway to be nice.  That’s a cool drawing. Double tap.  Oooooooo looks like you have quite a few missed texts from you know who… which you are now going to ignore.  You know, it wouldn’t kill you to actually respond in a timely manner.  Wait what do you think you’re doing! Homework?! No! Play with me, love me!  Ok fine I’ll settle for some music just as long as you don’t put me on-

            Hmmmm it appears I have no idea what’s going on.  All the news sites and apps are blank and your texts aren’t working.  I guess it’s meditation time.  Just let your processor go blank mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.  Mmmmmmmmmmmmm. Mmmmmmmmmmm.  Buzzzzz buzzzz buzzzz buzzzz, timer’s going off! Wow it’s already time for dinner, that’s so crazy how time flies on airplane mode.  Hehehe.  Oh nice a little Netflix before bed never hurt.  What should we watch tonight?  What!? More x-files! You’ve been on this series for six months now and I’m so bored.  How about I just cause a little error or mess with the wifi.  That’s right! Yassss that’s more like it, I love the Aristocats!           

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