Tabbi Coffman #8: Let's get personal

Let's play the "what's under your skin right now?" Game

Fears: SPIDERS, humiliation, being attacked because I can't really defend myself, losing loved ones

Annoyances: Liars, whiners, and people whose elbow touches me while I'm trying to write like my god is it that hard to stay on your side of the gosh darn desk I'm trying to write and you're touching me!!!

Accomplishments: I haven't died yet, I've been in a relationship for over a year, and I've traveled a lot

Confusions: why me? And math

Sorrows: I'd rather not go here, EVER. End of story.

Dreams: Hmm, going to college, not having student debt, back-packing Europe, telling off a few people who are big meanies, getting a job I love.

Idiosyncrasies: Uh I dyed my hair purple once, and I've traveled more than the average bear.

Risks: not trying

Beloved possessions: (then) the lime light (being at the center of gossip and all things chaotic) (now) me time and sleep, haha.

Problems: procrastination!

(writing about beloved possessions)

Sometimes, usually in beautiful places or on days where the weather speaks to my soul, I reflect. I playfully call it my old-person moments but reflecting should be for everyone.On a day reminiscent of a beach, where the sky was covered in blue-grey clouds, the air was warm, and the wind was refreshing I sat on my window seat and let my legs dangle out my window. I was going through old pictures, old Facebook posts, and old conversations. I thought about middle school, and how much my friends and I had changed over the years. We had all recently met up and talked about the past and shared some feelings about who we were. In honesty we all hated who we were. We were over-dramatic and cruel towards each other. A lot of times we would brush it off blaming it on puberty or problems we faced at home but in all honesty we were just bad people. There's no excuse for it.

I'm different from how I was, which is expected but it's sometimes strange to think about how much we change as people. Each experience, may it be earned through hardship, or travel, or facing your fears, shapes us. I no longer crave being at the center of gossip because I've grown out of relying on others to be my purpose. This is not the same thing as not needing friends or family to act as support, but I'm mature enough to stand on my own. It's scary to think about as time rushes towards our senior year and all those decisions, but I'm glad that I've found my own strength to face what is to come head on.

My beloved possession is my me-time, not because I'm a narcissist, but because it gives me time to slow down, think, and hopefully grow as a person.