Tabbi Coffman #13: Dinner table debate! (thanksgiving part 1.)

Disclaimer: These two posts are just me letting off some steam about my family. Everyone's family does annoying petty stuff, mine included. Please do not think that I live with a bunch of monsters, they're nice people, but the holidays really brings out the stress in people-- myself included.

Dear Family,

I would like to discuss the colorful debate that will occur over the holidays, because there's nothing that says family, cheer, and the season of giving like screaming over the dinner table until someone cries! I'm just laying some ground rules out for these debates so no one's feelings get brutally crushed and no one gets humiliated and ridiculed.

Topics:
When thinking about what to discuss with your family, especially the host family, make sure to think of the most sensitive topics you can think of. At first you may think to avoid these topics, but it's actually the opposite! While on your third or fourth glass of wine, discuss these with the ferocity one has while carving the turkey with a very sharp knife. You should also address recent fights or disagreements you've had with loved ones, particularly really personal ones that others know nothing about. The more the merrier! Am I right?

Opening-statements, Argument, and Rebuttals:
To properly and reasonably debate a topic the voice level you use is key. You should aim for something between a shout and a hysteric scream. And your tone should be full of power, similar to how you would sound if you were being unreasonable, angry, or condescending. But don't worry, your loved one are sure to only see it as passion for the topic. Since this is just a casual debate, don't worry about having any facts or statistics to back yourself up, it's going to be hard enough to form coherent snetences when your vision is tinted red-- that's not rage though, it's love. For all of your rebuttals feel free to have some fun and express yourself! I've come up with a few good phrases to use:

• No, your opinion is wrong!!!
• You have every right to your opinion, but when you're older you'll understand why I'm right.
• You just think that because your 17, I was stupid when I was 17 too!
• You're stupid.

These really help keep the debate short and concise! 

Closing Argument:

The best way to show your holiday spirit is to end your debate with flare! A good, dramatic walk-out with slamming doors is the preferred method. It's as lovable and memorable as dropping the mike.

I hope we're all excited for the holidays together! Sharing opinions in this way is honestly the best way to go to have strong, deep memories of one another. And remember, if you ever think that what you're saying is hurtful, unreasonable, or downright bitchy-- it's not! You're clearly right and very special so don't even worry about defending your arguments. Communication is key for a happy holiday!

See you soon! 

With Love and no hard feelings,

Tabbi