Tabbi Coffman #14: A word from the chef. (thanksgiving part 2)

Announcement!

Due to my absence on Thanksgiving I will be unable to make the turkey, stuffing, gravy, potatoes, apple pie, whipped cream, corn pudding, and popovers.
We will be moving the feast to Christmas time this year. The official date has yet to be decided upon.
Here is a menu/itinerary of the holiday festivities.

Day one:
Menu:

• Turkey or lamb will be served
• Mashed potatoes
• Gravy
• Winter-themed stuffing
• Popovers and corn bread
• Green beans and Cauliflower (vegetables are important you carnivores)
• Sweet potato and pecan casserole
• Grandmas's God-awful mayonnaise cake thing that literally only she eats because it's gross 
• Pecan. Pumpkin, and Apple pie (suggestions are welcome)

Itinerary:

• Avoid thanking Chef Tabbi for cooking 85% of the food, until she attempts to choke someone for offering a suggestion on how they would have made it better (honestly if you could have made it better you should've made it yourself you ungrateful pig)
• Play board games whilst getting drunk
• Once drunk, bring up an issue that occurred somewhat recently that will undoubtedly make someone either cry or scream
• Let the three baby cousins destroy something and then don't apologize to my mother (talking about you Williams)

Bonus points if you say something incredibly racist!

Day Two:

Menu:

• Leftovers from the previous day
• Corn pudding
• Christmas cookies!

Itinerary:

• Repeat any of the above
• Offer further "creative criticism" to Chef Tabbi (bonus points if you do it while taking an unreasonable amount of leftovers home)
• Get into a heated political debate, also make sure you include Tabbi against her will.
• More drunk board games
• Add additional spill to white dining room carpet (it's not a party without orange soda dangerously close to the edge of a wobbly table!)

Bonus points if you say something incredibly racist!

Day Three:

Menu:

• Whatever is left at this point
• Also either turkey or lamb curry made with Tabbi's top secret recipe
• Bring your own alcohol
• Oh, and hopefully Tabbi's homemade German Chocolate cake with homemade chocolae frosting because you are all sadists and like to make the person who's allergic to chocolate make a dessert she cannot eat.

Itinerary:

• Repeat as many things listed above as possible, the one who repeats the most wins the "Tabbi's least favorite person of the holiday award"

If you have managed to say something incredibly racist all three days then you earn the asshat award! Wear with pride!